Country's Number Two Gives Alien Clue
The Vice President has yet again hinted towards proof of extra
terrestrial life existing within our galaxy. His meetings with the country's top
space authorities have increased dramatically over the past few months. When asked,
he stated, "Nothing odd is taking place here. I just really like hanging out with
those smart guys." The allegations that his meetings have been to discuss ETs arose
after a leading former Space Authority member posted a bizarre message on his blog.
Though the post has been removed and no traces of it can be found, many have reported
the post contained the following (paraphrased) message: "They're here!" Attempts
to contact the message's author have been unsuccessful, and the Space Authority
and Vice President have stated they are unaware of any such message or individual.
Whether the Vice President and Space Authority are conspiring
to cover up some dark truth about 'little green men' on their way to Earth is under
consideration. Either way, the Vice President recently scheduled five additional
meetings with the Space Authority later this month.
We will keep you posted with any additional information we can come up with regarding
this historic occasion.
Did Aliens Bring Gluten to Earth?
In part 6 of our ongoing story, there appears to be more evidence
that gluten is in fact a substance not from this planet. Top scientists continue
to scoff at the question and have responded only that gluten couldn't possibly have
originated from outside our world, primarily due to its extremely unstable molecular
structure – making it very unlikely to even survive an inter-planetary journey.
They also added there is no such thing as aliens.
Return back soon to read part 7 of this series: Probe Discovers Wheat Fields on
ReUsing Nature - What Are They Doing?
Note, this post belongs on my government conspiracy website, but the authorities
are temporarily preventing me from updating that site. So I decided to post it here…
The government continues to deny a secret tie to the mysterious,
international pharmaceutical company ReUsing Nature. ReUsing Nature (or RUN) has
virtually popped up out of nowhere and has somehow managed to grow from its single
location to a world-wide organization consisting of more than a dozen locations
in North America, Europe, Asia and South America. The majority of new locations
were obtained by simply acquiring existing pharmaceutical companies at that location.
While these types of acquisitions naturally occur all of the time, the surprising
magnitude and rate of RUN's expansion has raised some concern. In attempts to contact
former heads of the acquired companies, these executives have strangely denied all
requests to comment on their decisions to sell. Note, one such head did agree to
share his story – then he was suddenly discovered dead in his home from an apparent
suicide. Government officials have raised no alarms regarding these troubling events
and have all but mandated we "not ask any questions" about the subject. But I did.
By obtaining a collection of governmental documents regarding
RUN's corporate takeovers, I learned that all of the new locations were existing
pharmaceutical companies – all except one. While trying to research this mystery
location, I have found that this is where the government and RUN officials are exerting
the greatest amount of resistance. To date, it is still unknown what this 'secret
location' used to be, and what it is currently being used for now. Even its physical
location has been kept in the dark.
While it is possible there is a reasonable explanation for being
unable to find this 'secret' location, all signs are pointing to this being a conspiracy.
The government may also (somehow) be unaware of RUN's motives; however, their responses
also stink of conspiracy.
If any loyal follower of my websites has any knowledge of this 'secret' location
acquired by RUN, I urge you to share it with everyone immediately so we may all
learn the disturbing truth behind ReUsing Nature's actions.
I Bumped Uglies With a Visitor from Outer Space!
Early last month, we learned of a small town in the Midwest through
some exciting circumstances. A female resident of the town claimed to have had 'formal
relations' with a being from another world! To conceal her identity, for the purposes
of this post, we will call her 'Venus'. Her story is depicted below.
When 'Venus' approached us, she was very excited to share her
story. "I always thought your website was a bucket of bull-bottoms, but ever since
I met 'Mars'*, I've realized your site is like the fur off a goat!**" *Note: 'Mars'
may or may not be the name of 'Venus's' 'partner' since we were unable to establish
if he/she/it had given her a fake name during their 'meeting'. **Auxiliary note:
we were unable to locate a satisfactory translation for 'Venus's' goat remark, yet
we can only assume it was meant as a 'good thing'.
We continued to ask 'Venus' the standard collection of questions
to help determine if this story was a lie, or if it could actually be a reporting
of someone who has had "Universal FOrnication" (making her a valid member of the
UFOers club). By the twinkle in her eye, we're pretty sure we know the truth.
'Venus' wants readers to know that she is single, 23, and a Virgo.